Why People Pleasing is Really People Displeasing and What We Can Do to Overcome it?

So many clients and groups I speak to share their woes about “not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings,” “not saying no when they should’ve,” and “feeling bad about setting a boundary,” leaving a wake of bodies, ill feelings, and lost relationships as a result. And yet when I probe further, they often roll their eyes in self-disgust, shrug their shoulders and say in a resigned fashion, “I’m such a people pleaser, it’s really a problem.” Ironic the words people pleaser are so widely used when interactions such as these lead to resentment, dishonesty, manipulation, and mostly a lack of trust of self and between people. There’s nothing pleasing to any party in this equation. I grew up with a Mom that had an extraordinary gift for making people feel loved, special, and important. The downside she didn’t know how to set boundaries and would make up stories why she didn’t “get back to them.” I’d watch this as a child and saw the self-inflicted pain she put herself through, and yet in a blink of an eye, I too, was down the rabbit hole of people displeasing. Luckily with tenacity, support, and courage, I worked my babboshkies off (yes I know it’s not a word) and have reversed that pattern, imperfectly ongoingly, and I’ve learned how to speak my truth and be what I call beautifully honest, versus brutally honest. I see the freedom it provides and that’s why I support others in doing the same. For this and many other reasons, I’m launching with the amazing Mariana Macias, “Speaking our Truth” masterclasses. Tonight our topic is “People Pleasing, Why We Do it, and How to STOP doing it?” It’s tonight, Tuesday, or Thruthday, August 10th at 7 pm CT/8 pm ET and it’s free. Please register below.


When we honor, speak and live our truth, we experience the pure gift of our aliveness, authenticity, and essence. We get to experience who we are, and what’s important to us. Come join us in the courageous and worthwhile journey!